Before this trip, God impressed
upon my heart that He would show me something tangible related to the passion
God has given me for girls in the sex trafficking industry. To summarize what I
wrote about in my day four, part two journal (3/13/13), I met this girl God
promised me to meet on the 3rd day of the youth conference. After we
talked about sex and marriage in the girls’ 10-15 age group and encouraged them
to tell someone if they were being sexually abused, one of the girls wanted to
talk to me one-on-one. Her name was Danielle. She was an 11-year-old with
skinny limbs who wore a navy tank top and blue jean skirt; her hair was in
twists with white butterfly clips at the ends. While we were walking over to
sit by a tree outside the tent, I had a gut feeling or rather a Holy Spirit
instinct regarding the topic of this conversation. As the conversation unfolded,
I realized the feeling was from God. I found out she has had sex with the
wealthier guys (well-off for Haiti) so her family can eat. I consider this
circumstantially forced prostitution. Shortly after this part of the
conversation began, everything started hitting me, and the tears began to fall
like raindrops out of the clouds. God definitely gave me the words to speak in
those moments spent with her. I felt more helpless and weak than I ever have in
my life. Any good or effective thing I said in that conversation was no doubt
from God and an act of God. It was surreal to know one of the very girls I had
been praying for over the past two years was sitting here on the Haitian dirt
with me, staring into my wet eyes and into my soul with her black pupils surrounded
by warm brown in contrast with the whites of her eyes that stood out against
her dark, smooth skin. From a bird’s eye view, I imagine Mark, who interpreted,
off to the side showing a hint of concern on his face, but, being a man,
concealed most of his emotions; Danielle sitting there with what appeared to me
as calm curiosity and concern as she listened and watched me cry for her; Then
there was me, looking somewhat distraught and pained as I cried and spoke the
truth of God. There’s a song called “Love Come to Life” by Big Daddy Weave and
in the song it says, “Bring your love to life inside of me. Why don’t you break
my heart till it moves my hands and feet?” It’s a good summation of the work
the Lord is doing in me. He gave me something real and personal pertaining to
my passion for these girls. He’s growing in me a love and compassion for these
girls to the point that I must do something about it. I must devote myself to
prayer for these girls. And in the future, I am confident God is calling me to
international missions for girls in the sex trafficking industry. The passion I
have for these girls is so insanely consuming and intense that the heart behind
it must be none other than from God himself.
Closing thoughts: I cannot tell
you how important it is to know the gospel when dealing with emotionally trying
situations like this. Yes, it was incredibly heart breaking and the compassion
of the Lord spills out of me for those girls, but I was still able to find hope
and joy in knowing who God is. Also, this world is a broken place because it’s
filled with broken people. God is in the business of restoration of the broken
images of Him in order to glorifying Himself. Every time something bad happens,
like the Boston Marathon bombing for example, there are always Facebook
statuses and tweets about how this world is a messed up place and question what
is wrong with the world. Well, I’ll tell you. It started in Genesis 3 when we
screwed up all the perfect harmony of the world. Don’t blame it on Adam and
Eve, you and I would have done the same thing. We are all depraved with an evil
nature (just take a look at Romans 3:9-18 if you don’t believe me). “BUT GOD showed
his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans
5:8 emphasis added). So because Christ was the all-sufficient sacrifice for the
entire world’s sin yesterday, today, and tomorrow (that is A LOT of sin), God
is able to see His children as holy through the lens of His perfect son.
All this is to tell you, I saw
the gospel through this situation and in that I find joy. There is hope in the
goodness of God. There is hope in the justness God. There is hope in the sovereignty
of God. I am not able to see the whole picture with time from beginning to end
like God does. I’m not able to see why God allowed something like the Boston
Marathon bombing to happen, but I also don’t see the world from a bird’s eye
view, and I don’t see time from beginning to end. We have such a narrow view of
our short time here on earth. I wholly believe whatever God does is just and whatever
God does is good because He is good (Psalm 34:8) and He is just (Deut. 32:4).
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