In the small group of girls, ages 10-15, that me and a few other girls led, we discussed sex and dating, with Mark as our translator. Sex and dating is a big topic in Haiti just like in America. There were certain cultural parts of this topic that I didn't feel like I researched enough before addressing the topic, but the truth of sex and marriage in the bible is relevant to all cultures and all peoples. The girls didn't focus very well and joked around a lot. After the group time was over, two girls wanted to talk to me one-on-one.
The first girl was eleven. She told me she had had sex before and didn't want to do it anymore. As the conversation unraveled, I found out she was having sex with boys who had money, so her family could eat. She said it had only happened once then later said it happened twice; the translator, Mark, said she was being shy and that it has probably happened a lot. Basically, this 11-year-old girl was being prostituted because of her extreme poverty conditions; they see it as the only way to get money and food. The sad part is it honestly might be the only way to eat at times. It's not like in America where we have stores and small business, places to work; you can't just go and fill out an application for a job at the nonexistent grocery store in the Mole, Haiti. I call this circumstantially forced prostitution. As tears began to roll down my face, I told her my heart breaks for her situation, but I have never experienced anything like that. I told her of the strong compassion God has given me for girls like her, but even though the compassion is fierce and intense, I can and probably never will understand from first hand experience what she has to go through. I continued talking to her about regardless of her circumstances, God can be her hope, strength, refuge, and shelter. God is good, and He is in control. This world and the circumstances we endure are temporary (James 4:14), but there is hope in spending eternity with God who holds us together. We desperately long for Him, and someday we'll be with Him. When that day comes, there will be no mourning, nor tears, nor pain anymore (Rev. 21:3-5).
The situation of this little girl shattered my heart. God has given me such a huge compassion for girls in sex trafficking or forced prostitution. I am honestly not sure what the girl thought about this. I was sitting there helplessly crying and speaking God's words to her and she just stared at me, not really confused, not really sad; I'm not sure how to explain it. I think, if anything, she knew that she was cared for and that someone would cry for her. When my family was dropping me off at my dorm after my sorority's (Raider Sisters for Christ) parents' weekend , my mom hugged me goodbye and said she was proud of me and that I was doing great, then she started crying. I shed a few tears, but tried to be a big girl and hold them back. My grandma called me later that night, when they got home, and told me she was talking to my mom and telling her I started crying a little bit after she (my mom) hugged me. My grandma said her reaction was surprised and happy that I cried because of her. First of all, this makes me sad because I guess I'm not expressing enough emotion to my mother to let her know she is dearly loved by me. On the other hand, it proves crying for a loved one is a very intimate way to show you care deeply about them. So my point is, when I cried many tears for the little girl, I pray she saw the compassion and love that Christ has for her.
I felt so helpless during this conversation with the girl. There was nothing I could do to change her circumstances. There was nothing I could say to make her situation better. It was all and is all up to God, which is super humbling. I can do nothing but tell her the truths of God, love on her and pray that God moves.
The missionary, Jody, we're working with wants to do something to help these girls in her community in prostitution because it is somewhat common. Parents take their daughters to the beach to be bought for sex at 50 goods, which is $1.25 in American money. I was shocked when Jody found out a price and reported it to us. I would love to just pay off all the parents, but that won't fix the community issue.
Before I came on this trip, God told me he would show me something real and tangible that pertained to the passion He had given me for girls in forced prostitution. It was very real. The most real moment of my life. It was harder than I had ever imagined. I knew as soon as she started talking, probably even before, what this conversation was going to be about.
Toward the end of my junior year, God randomly sparked up a passion in me for the issue of sex trafficking. I remember thinking "why isn't this issue addressed?" and "why aren't there any organizations to help this?" And there was. I just didn't know about them because the issue of sex trafficking wasn't widely known at this point. Two weeks after God laid this passion on my heart, my church youth group announced the organization we were going to be giving to for the next year, which was She Dances, an anti-sex trafficking organization in Honduras. I remember being so blown away by that. My senior year I really wanted to make and sell shirts to raise more money for She Dances, but that never worked out. The passion kind of faded in the background my senior year until the beginning of college when God hit me hard with compassion for these girls. It got to the point where I would break down in tears during prayer for these girls. I asked God to use me in some way to do something with this passion. I was in speech that semester and decided to do my persuasive speech on sex trafficking, so I was able to share God's passion for the victims of sex trafficking with my class. Based on that speech, a representative from each speech discussion section would be chosen to participate in a speech competition called "Speak Up!" In the first round, I did the speech in front of a few students and judges. I made it to the next round, where I spoke in front of a few more students and judges. Then I was chosen to be in the final eight speakers in the competition, where I spoke in front of hundreds of students and a few judges, including Josh Abbott. I didn't get first, second, or third place, but God gave me the opportunity to share the passion He'd given me in front of hundreds of students, as well as faculty and judges. And now, here I am, a semester later, sitting on the dirt ground in Haiti, talking face-to-face with a girl who is a forced prostitute. It all hit me in that moment that the Lord was making my passion for girls in sex trafficking a reality rather than something I just talked and prayed about.
It is easier to talk about it. It is harder when you're face-to-face with the issue. It becomes m
My closing thoughts: The Lord has made it very certain to me that at some point He wants me to do international missions with girls in forced prostitution. Talking to that girl was the final event of reassurance. There are no coincidences when it comes to the Lord. And because I have learned that, I know, without a doubt in my mind (which is hard to accomplish), what He is calling me to. I do not know where, I do not know how, I do not know when, I just know that I must be willing to say "yes" regardless of the answers to those questions. There is no better place to be than in the in the will of God, and there is no worse place to be than out of the will of God.
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